its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
