I swear she didn't look like that last week.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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