i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Is this like a preordered booty call?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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