I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We got so high we made milksteak
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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