make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize