Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
