I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
