im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
