This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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