She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
