How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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