ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
