Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
