Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
