yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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