At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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