You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
