If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
