The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Everclear isn't food dammit
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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