it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
