I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
