Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
