YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
