I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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