Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
