my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I could fuck to npr.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
