Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
