Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Randomize
