I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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