we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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