whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
sex in a hospital.. check
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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