the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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