Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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