everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize
