A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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