let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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