I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
