He kissed a someone with a penis
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
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