I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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