so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
