happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
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