I need help removing her.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
