You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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