Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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