hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize