i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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