I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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