so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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