my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
