also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize