Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
