Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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