butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
