im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
