There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
