I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Randomize
