But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize