...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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