Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
